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  1. #1
    Senior Member Serge's Avatar
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    Smile Welcome to Texas!

    Just moved to Texas! Now this is a state that knows how to live!!

    Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! It is beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

    June 14th:

    Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car.

    What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.

    June 30th:

    Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing the lawn for me.

    Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

    July 10th:

    The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat?

    At least, it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.

    July 15th:

    Fell asleep by the community pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body). Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do.

    I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

    July 20th:

    I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag, then popped like a water balloon.

    The car now smells like Kibbles and bits.

    I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.

    Good ol' Mr. Sun strikes again.

    July 25th:

    The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!!

    And it's hot as heck. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.

    July 30th:

    Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now, $225,000 house and I can't even go inside. Lomita is the lucky one. Why did I ever come here?

    Aug. 4th:

    It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate this stupid state.

    Aug. 8th:

    If another dumb butt cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm going to strangle him. Dang heat. By the time I get to work, the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!

    Aug. 9th:

    Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when I sat on the seats in the car, I thought my butt was on fire.

    My skin melted to the seat. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and butt . . . Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried butt, and baked cat.

    Aug 10th:

    The weather report might as well be a dang recording. Hot and sunny.

    Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do stuff for 2 dang months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.

    Doesn't it ever rain in this dang state? Water rationing will be next, so my $1700 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over.

    Even the cactus can't live in this dang heat.

    Aug. 14th:

    Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 115 today. Cactus are dead.

    Forgot to crack the window and blew the dang windshield out of the car. The installer came to fix it and guess what he asked me??? "Hot enough for you today?"

    My sister had to spend $1,500 to bail me out of jail. Freaking Texas.

    What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here??

    Will write later to let you know how the trial goes

    :speedbana :speedbana :speedbana
    Serge

    Common Sense - Is'nt!!


  2. #2
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    good one!!

  3. #3
    Senior Member Ricepicker's Avatar
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    i use to live in arizona... i like it...

  4. #4
    Moderator cres's Avatar
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    And that is the hot part of the year. They get huricanes and hail storms too.

    My buddy lives there. He has replaced three roofs, a fence and a car (many little dents) due to the various hail storms.

    When it rains, it rains big. When it suns, it suns big. Etc.
    Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Bram's Avatar
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    Whats your address? Im going to mail you something.
    What brought you to Texas in the first place?
    Who says Dogs are the only creature that's happy to see you?

    Pics --> http://aquariacanada.com/PhotoPost/s...r=1248&cat=500

  6. #6
    Senior Member Serge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bram
    Whats your address? Im going to mail you something.
    What brought you to Texas in the first place?
    Err... That was a joke I found elsewhere on the net, and thought I would share with the fine folks here on AC. :biglaugh2

    Cheers!
    Serge

    Common Sense - Is'nt!!


  7. #7
    Senior Member Bram's Avatar
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    I was going to mail you a snowball. (a bag of water) :wink5:
    with a note "How about this heat, enjoy the snowball?"
    Who says Dogs are the only creature that's happy to see you?

    Pics --> http://aquariacanada.com/PhotoPost/s...r=1248&cat=500

  8. #8
    Senior Member Serge's Avatar
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    Thanks, but no thanks! I get enough snow as it is without getting some by mail!!
    :hysterica

    Cheers!
    Serge

    Common Sense - Is'nt!!


  9. #9
    Junior Member
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    good one and so true. I was born and raised in texas. Now I live in Canada

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