You'll feel smarter after you read these quotes - I did.

Question: If you could live forever, would you  and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not  live forever,
because if we were supposed to live forever,  then we would live forever,
but we cannot live forever,  which is why I would not live forever,"  
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all  over the world,
I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be  skinny like that,  but not with
all those flies and death and  stuff,"
--Mariah Carey

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very  important part of your
--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal
anti-smoking campaign.

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my  body,"  
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest  crime rates in
the country,"  
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our  papers. We are the
--Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm
just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas.

"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away  from them.
There were great numbers of people who needed new  land, and the Indians
were selfishly trying to keep it for  themselves."
--John Wayne

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment.  It's  the impurities in
our air and water that are doing it."  
--Al Gore, Vice President

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
--Dan Quayle

"It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go  one way or
--George Bush, US President

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do  we need?"  
--Lee Iacocca

"I was provided with additional input that was radically  different from the
truth. I assisted in furthering that  version,"
--Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.

"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is  a guy like
Norman Einstein,"  
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain  types
> of people."  --Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
--Bill Clinton, President

"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not  occur."
--Al Gore, VP

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992
because we received notice that you passed away.  May God bless you. You may
reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go
to bed and it will monitor their heart
throughout the night.  And the next morning, when they wake up dead,
there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman