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Thread: Camping

  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2005


    Hey Ijo, word round the campfire is that you like camping. Without further ado, here is a recount of my last memorable trip.

    So there we were, day 1, bumbling along the road to one of our esteemed provincial parks when some drunk radio dj shpeeled out the weather report for the weekend - cloudy with rain. Well, being troupers we figured all was not lost.

    We got to camp much later than planned (doesn't it always work out that way?), and had to fenangle with the camp admins to get a good site. There was a question of inbreeding that floated through the room like a good fartbomb but the co-op student rangers were quick to quell the rumours and see us on our way. They had yellow Columbia sweaters on.

    Our site was situated nicely away from the unwashed masses so we held a silent hope that the evening's fire would reach 'bon' capacity without eliciting the wrath of the park rangers.

    Like a finely tuned broken machine we set about our tasks of setting up camp and gathering combustibles for the evening festivities. We parked the cars skilfully to hide the road, then set up the tents beyond the cars. We hung a huge blue tarp from the adjacent trees to cover the tents. It gave a nice blue hue to everything while keeping us campers damp, if not dry. There were the rebels who refused to move their tent under said tarp claiming that their investment of egg-carton tent insulation was guaranteed to keep the water out and sound in...

    Almost without warning (although the signs were there if you knew the company), a fight broke out regarding an appropriate place to move the fire pit to. Naturally the existing spot allocated by MNR was unsuitable. In the end the fire pit was moved, much to the chagrin of one very upset lady - let's call her Lorel. Although the move proved to be an excellent decision the matter never quite died - even to this day.

    Day 1 ended the way lightly raining camping days should, somewhat muted, until we got that fire-a-blazing and the beer flowing. The tent situation being what it was, 2 couples in their own tents, and then two single buddies bunking in another tent just cause; was the subject of much laughter. "She doesn't love me anymore" was the quote of the night with "burning plastic milk jugs do so make oil... see?" being the runner up.

    Day 2 floated by with the most notable event being a flat bottom canoe excursion from the dock to the middle of the lake where the less experienced dork flipped the rig only to lose his glasses on the sea floor. Being the other dork, I can summarily say that treading water in the middle of the lake while other said dork rowed back to the dock to buy a pair of baby goggles was not up there on my 'good times' list. Unfortunately the search for the glasses was fruitless and Dorko would be next to blind for the rest of the weekend. Good thing we held him in the highest regard or else we would have tried to snap a few pics of his wicked tattoos while he was passed out under half melted milk jugs.

    It still gives me shivers to think back to the burning embers from the evening's fire floating up into the dry brush around us. "No problem" claimed my buddy in response to the dirtiest scowl Lorel could muster; which was on the 'good times' list. Needless to say, the situation deteriorated rapidly with the introduction of the beer. It seemed like time stood still as the fire went from 'bon' to 'pyre'. Good times.

    That night we were accosted by racoons whilst musing around the fire. Cute and unassuming we let them into our camp until things went terribly wrong. The coons banded together and raised their little arms above their head as if to appear .8" taller than they were. We knew something was awry and armed ourselves with the sticks used to melt milk jugs from the night before. A few muted chatters later and the racoons scampered away in the night only to peer at us from a bush just a little further along.

    Day 3 was just that, day 3. We spent the morning burning garbage if only to rattle Lorel's cage a little more. We lamented that there was nary a sign of Cerberus all weekend long but the issue was overshadowed by the misfortunes of our friends who's eggcarton tent insulation did not do the trick to mute the moaning and groaning. We were not able to ascertain whether the groaning was from the rain getting into their tent or not. <insert head shaking here>

    In retrospect it was a great weekend. The rain hardly hampered our fun at all and was arguably the only thing that kept me alive while treading water in the 8 deg. lake for a half hour.

    That was a few years ago. Life seems to have moved on. The girlfriend is now the wife. The wife and I have a child. The tent we had it too small and is likely subjected to camping exploits in foreign backyards around the city.

    Where did you ever get a nickname like Ijo anyway?

  2. #2
    ijo is offline
    Join Date
    May 2011
    :lol: Rob... you made me laugh on that one... Congratulations on the new Baby!!!! Was this recent or did you just forget about me? Send me a pic when you have the time...

    I'm not sure others will find this story as entertaining as I did... "you just had to be there" As for the nick IJO... I got that from the dork who flipped the canoe(giggle).


  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Even though I wasn't there..., I can relate ( and yes I too found it funny)!!!
    Let me give you a list of a few interesting things that were included in a few of our past camping trips and your head will forage up many possibilities of fun things happening.

    -St. Jean Baptist weekend
    -A campsite just past Plattsburgh in an area called Peru
    - a whole friggin' rugby team ( including girlfriends and wives)
    - a yearly average ( yes average because we did this for about 8 years straight!!) tent count of about 40 tents!!!
    - 7 to 8 huge kegs ( complete with tap mounted on top) buried in the ground with said taps all sticking out in a nice straight row ( burying them kept the beer ice cold all weekend long)
    - too much stove and lantern fluid sitting precariously near the campfire just begging to be thrown or blown into the fire
    - a Jason costume
    - me barreling into the campground full speed on my horse whilst everyone scurries from the logs around the campfire because I jumped said logs with my horse
    - ghost stories just before flashing a flashlight at the earlier set up fake Jason behind some trees off in the dark night
    - many females calling it a night and hiding under the blankets in their tents after seeing jason off in the distance
    - doing the infamous .., drink a beer, touch the ground with your hand, spin around, then attempt to run down a hill
    a bunch of jeeps and other various offroading machines
    - too much beer to go offroading sensibly
    -an axe and a few picnic tables
    - too much beer to rationally know what to do with an axe and a few picnic tables
    - illegal substances
    - more illegal substances
    - lots of other various liquor
    - good ol' beer bong ( never do bongs with hard liquor by the way..., yeeech.., my head STILL hurts just thinking of it!!!!).
    -more raccooons!!
    -branches high up in a tree just "begging" to have someone's clothes thrown up on them
    - finishing a 40 oz. of J Daniels in one evening ( damn bong!!).
    -a lake within 30 feet of our camsites
    -completely remote so that an all night fire and ghettoblaster blasting would not bother anyone
    -smoke bombs
    -smoke bombs thrown into some tents during the night!!
    - a few quarrels ( especially after some smoke bombs made an appearance
    -mud deeper than even 36" Mickey Thompson tires on 10" wheels and a 12" lift can handle!!
    -and there are numerous other events I can't think of at the moment

    By the wqy, have any of you ever gone to SandBanks in Ontario? You can camp right in the white sand dunes on the edge of Lake Ontario.., really cool and fun if you happen to be lucky to get one of these good sites.

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Forgot to add

    -8 oz. glass of beer for 25 cents ( Canadian quarters taken at par too) at a poolhall nearby called Mother's on Sunday nights.
    - huge pitchers of any flavor Daquiri for $4.00!!!

  5. #5
    Senior Member Carolpol's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004

    LOVE it! mouhahahahaha
    Can we fit one more tank? :P
    Dont mind my spelling mistakes I've got an excuse...I'M FRENCH!

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